Seven Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Humans

Of course, it's obvious we're better than humans. Look at us: we're cute, furry, elegant, graceful... In other words, we've got style. Look at humans: they're ugly, bare, huge, unwieldy and clumsy. So here are seven reasons why we're better.

1. Cats aren't only cuter, we're stronger and more agile. We can outrun a human even though our steps are about five times smaller. We can climb things humans can only dream of climbing, a cat has been registered, by humans, to climb a 75-foot building! We can jump higher, proportionally, than any human jumper, or, for that matter, pole vaulter. Talking about jumping, a cat has been known to survive a fall from 205 feet into water!

2. "A cat is a cat. There are no foreign cats,
no Chinese cats, no capitalist cats,
no communist cats. Just cats."
                                      -- Jean Fritz

3. There are ugly humans and pretty humans. There are cute cats and cuter cats.

4. Humans have discovered atomic energy, created drugs, polluted the Earth, bombed each other. They kill other humans, they have poverty, they have cruelty, they have hate, they have racism. Cats don't.

5. Cats can sleep and look smug at the same time. If humans try it they just look as if they're permanently constipated.

6. Humans can only pee about half their body length and no higher than their belly button, while cats can pee almost 3x their body length and higher than I level!

7. And finally: you don't see many cats cleaning human litterboxes (or whatever it is humans have, that's always been a bit of a mystery to me).

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