A story about Porridge, Milk and a Grey Cat

                                                                                after Mamin-Sibiryak
      Believe it or not, it was amazing! And the most amazing thing was that the same story repeated every day. As soon as the kitchen maid put a pot of milk and a pot of porridge on the oven, they began to talk:
      - I am Milk…
      - And I am Porridge… 
      First they talked low, in a whisper, but then they both started to boil with anger.
      - I am Milk! I am Milk!
      - And I am Porridge! Porridge! - The porridge was really angry, it made bubbles, and the kitchen maid put a lid on it. The Milk was awfully offended by this show off – just think, only a porridge but behaves like a VIP! The Milk boiled, made foam and waited for a chance to leave its pot. If the kitchen maid turned away for a moment, the Milk would run on the hot oven.
      - What should I do with this milk? - Complained the kitchen maid, - I turned away only for a minute, and it ran away…
      - What can I do? It’s all my hot temper, - Answered the Milk.
      Sometimes the porridge also ran over the oven even despite its lid.
      - What should I do with this porridge? - The kitchen maid was really upset.

      In the same kitchen lived a beloved of the kitchen maid – a big Siberian Cat called Mur. The first thing he did in the morning was to follow the kitchen maid and mew so pleadingly that even a heart of ice would melt. “Wait a little bit, I have so many things to do! Wait! I’ll feed you soon!” The kitchen maid would say. “I can't wait! I cant wait!” mewed Mur. “Just yesterday you ate a pound of liver! How can you eat so much?!” “But that was yesterday!” Mur was amused. “Today I'm hungry again! If I were a human I would give liver to all the cats  from early morning till early morning…” “You are a lazy-bone!  Go and catch a mouse!” “Ha! Easy to say! Catch a mouse! Did you try yourself? Did you ever catch a single mouse? Besides, I do what I can do! Last week I almost caught a rat, a gigantic one, see, I still have a scratch on my nose! It's easy for you to say!..”
      After having his big morning portion of liver Mur would lie close to the oven and doze. An hour's rest later Mur would like to be entertained. For example to sit on the window-sill over which a cage with a canary hung and watch the silly bird, or to sit near the oven and listen to the quarrel of the Milk and the Porridge.
      - I am Milk!
      - I am Porridge!
      - Can't catch why they are so angry. If I would say "I am cat, I am cat, I am cat" all the time, why should anyone be angry?
      Once the Milk and the Porridge were arguing so hotly, that both poured out on the oven. The kitchen maid was very distressed. She took them both off, put them on a table and left for market. Mur used the situation to get acquainted closely. He sat beside the Milk, blew at it and said: “Don't be angry, Milk!” The Milk began to calm down. Mur blew at them both and said in a very sweet voice: “Choose me a judge, and I’ll settle your case”.
      A black cockroach, listening to Mur, choked with laughter. But the Milk and the Porridge were happy to find somebody who would decide who was better. Mur blew again, then tried them both and began to lap the milk. “My verdict is that Milk is better!”
      When the kitchen maid came home the milk-pot was empty. Mur was soundly asleep with an innocent expression on his milk stained whiskers.
      “What a rascal!” cried the kitchen maid, lifting him by the scruff of the neck, “Who drank the milk? Answer!”
      It was very unpleasant and steady pain, but Mur withstood it and pretended not to understand. When he was thrown out through the door, he licked his ruffled fur, lifted his tail and said: “If I were a kitchen maid I would serve all the cats milk from early morning till early morning. I am not angry with her, she is just a human and does not understand…”

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